11 Signs You Might Be a Sloth at Heart (And Why That’s Actually Awesome)
We get it. You might not live in a rainforest or hang upside down from trees (yet), but if you're reading this, there’s a pretty good chance you have some sloth energy in your soul.
At Surreal Sloths, we believe the world needs more unbothered naps, gentle pacing, and perfectly timed coffee breaks. So here are 11 signs you might be a sloth at heart — and why that’s something to celebrate.
1. You’ve hit snooze more times than your phone’s allowed.
If your alarm is more of a suggestion than a rule, you’re already sloth-adjacent.
2. Your idea of speed involves slow cookers, not sprinting.
Why rush when you can simmer? Sloths know that low and slow wins the day.
3. You believe naps are self-care, not laziness.
We see you, nap queen (or king). And yes, we’ve got a hat for that: Nap Queen Denim Hat — because your crown should be comfy.
4. You're suspicious of anyone who “runs for fun.”
Seriously… what are they running from?
5. You’ve mastered the art of doing nothing — and feeling no guilt.
Sloths don't apologize for taking it slow. Neither should you.
6. You’ve looked at a tree and thought, “Yeah, I could nap in that.”
This one needs no explanation.
7. You need coffee before you're emotionally available.
No judgment here. You’d get along great with our Caffeinated but Unmotivated mug.
8. You wear soft clothes 90% of the time — and call them “outside clothes.”
If it’s not cozy, it’s not coming with you.
9. You strongly relate to sloths hanging in weird positions.
That one stretch where you’re technically awake but haven’t moved in 20 minutes? Yeah.
10. You know that slow doesn’t mean lazy — it means intentional.
Being sloth-like isn’t about doing less. It’s about doing what matters — and letting go of the rest.
11. You’ve proudly said “no thanks” to hustle culture.
You’re not here to grind — you’re here to glide. If it doesn’t align with your peace, it’s a pass. Sloths would 100% approve.
So, Are You a Sloth at Heart?
If even one of these made you nod (or yawn), welcome home. You’re one of us. 🦥
Whether you're team nap, team chill, or team “I’ll get to it eventually,” we’re here to outfit your slowest, softest self. Check out our latest sloth-approved tees, mugs, and accessories — and wear your chill like a badge of honor.